Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Serendipity

I am always loving and wishing for each opportunity to communicate and feel, because whenever I move with you or with any other person, that being at that instant is a reflection of me! I am always aware of what moves inside me, and I invent personal mantras each week (for several weeks now I still repeat to myself: "just breathe. ain't never too late to learn stuff"), and later I throw them away in order to pass onto the next lesson.

I am the luckiest woman in the universe because I allow myself everything. I allow myself to get pissed off, to desire, to cling, to empty, to feel alone, to feel basic, I allow myself to play touching the sacred, I allow the applauses fill my rocker’s ego, I allow myself to bow deep down until I touch the ground, I allow myself to disappear, to get dressed in shining lights so that everyone can see me, I allow myself to give and receive gifts, but most important of all, I allow myself to laugh, to be thankful and to be aware that this (the way or どう, 道 ) is not difficult. It is only unique. To know that this is unique, I stopped comparing my rhythm of growth with others, thus I stopped judging, thus I learned how to forgive myself, thus I discovered how easy it is to be happy.

I don’t know what Zen is. I only know that when I am awake, I have another opportunity to be thankful.I still don’t know what Zen is. I only know that the world isn’t about me. The world is about the world. As I move in the world, I create and give the gift of my universe to the universe.

My favorite word is “serendipity”. The word was invented by the English author, Horace Walpole, who based it on a name from the ancient country of Sri Lanka, Serendip. He explained that the name was part of the title of a fairytale called “The Three Princes of Serendip”: while the princes travelled in their voyages, they were always making discoveries, but always through accident or coincidence, because they were never looking intentionally for anything in particular…”

Serendipity:1. The capacity of being able to make fortunate discoveries by accident 2. The talent of being able to make fortunate discoveries while looking for something else 3. An instant of making such a discovery

My friend, each time you see me, you will read in my eyes how thankful I am. You know how special it is to be a witness of your happiness? I feel so blessed.

I still don’t know what Zen is, and neither do I know what is a good ukemi (how to take falls in aikido). I only felt something different and it is because I never stop communicating. Bravery is not measured with weapons. To be brave is to be able to communicate despite my ego, despite my fears, despite my mistakes. I am thankful for my ability and will power to be able to express myself!

But above all other things, I thank you for your love that you give to me freely, to accompany me in this discovery! …in the search of something else, I generate and I allow myself other revelations!!!
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

¡Yo me la paso amando y deseando cada oportunidad de comunicarme y sentir, porque cuando me muevo contigo o con cualquier persona, ese ser y ese instante es el reflejo de mí! Me la paso atenta a lo que se mueve adentro, e invento mantras personales cada semana (por varias semanas aún me repito "just breathe. ain't never too late to learn stuff"), luego las desecho cuando debo pasar a otra instrucción.

Soy la mujer más afortunada del universo porque me permito todo. Me permito arrecharme, me permito desear, me permito el apego, me permito vaciar, me permito la soledad, me permito ser básica, me permito jugar a tocar lo sagrado, me permito los aplausos que llenan mi ego rockero, me permito inclinarme hasta tocar el piso, me permito desaparecerme, me permito vestirme de luces para que todos me vean, me permito recibir y dar regalos, pero sobretodo me permito reír y agradecer y estar conciente que esto (el camino) no es difícil, sólo es único. Al saber que es único, dejé de comparar mi ritmo con otro, por ende dejé de juzgar, por ende supe perdonarme, por ende descubrí que es fácil ser feliz.

No sé lo que es zen. Sólo sé que cuando estoy despierta tengo otra oportunidad más de ser agradecida.

No sé lo que es zen. Sólo sé que el mundo no se trata de mí. El mundo es el mundo. Y yo al moverme en el mundo, creo y regalo mi universo al universo.

Mi palabra favorita es “serendipity”. La palabra fue inventada por un autor inglés llamado Horace Walpole basándose en un nombre del antiguo país de Sri Lanka, Serendip. El explicó que el nombre era parte del título de un cuento de hadas llamado “Los tres príncipes de Serendip”: mientras los príncipes viajaban, siempre estaban haciendo descubrimientos, pero era siempre por accidente o casualidad, pues nunca buscaban intencionalmente alguna cosa en particular…”

Serendipity:
1. La facultad de poder hacer descubrimientos afortunados por accidente
2. El talento de poder hacer descubrimientos afortunados mientras buscabas otra cosa
3. Un instante de hacer tal descubrimiento

Mi amigo, cada vez que me ves, leerás en mis ojos cuán agradecida estoy. ¿Sabes lo especial que es ser testigo de tu felicidad? Me siento bendecida.

Aun no sé lo que es zen, tampoco sé lo que es un buen ukemi. Sólo sentí algo diferente y es porque nunca dejo de comunicarme. La valentía no se mide con armas. Ser valiente es comunicarme a pesar de mi ego, a pesar del miedo, a pesar de las equivocaciones. ¡Agradezco mi facultad y voluntad de expresarme!
Pero sobre todas las cosas, te agradezco tu amor que me das libremente para acompañarme en este hallazgo!
…en búsqueda de otra cosa, genero y me permito otras revelaciones!!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Here and Now


The here and now. The only way to live! Beyond all sorts of possible distractions, I relish and savor the here and now. I am truly fortunate.

What's important


What's important? In aikido or singing or dancing, when I step onto the tatami of life, what's important is...

To breathe
To stretch my body and mind
To forgive myself
To forgive ourselves

So that space opened up from all the above, permits me to
Feel
See
Relate
and then
Interact

The moment feels suspended in time, but really it's because I am so aware of my mortality, that each second is a whole universe of possibilities which I treasure, absorb, then release.
I am so fortunate to be loved, to be alive, and to able to touch people with my small voice.

Revisiting with a smile...


I am reflecting on the possibility of letting go of what I desire most.
It is still only an imperfect possibility because I am too selfish to make it a reality!
To let go of what I most desire is as simple as breathing in and breathing out.
But with every breath, the molecules of my entire being die to be reborn again.
And it's the pain of loss in that millisecond between breath and release that shakes me

But I know it is sometimes necessary
Always necessary
To release the moment
To be free again
For the next moment

Yet I know we are creatures of comfort and that which we establish as routines
is our attempt to this sensation of comfort.
That is perhaps why we marry? Why we make promises? Why we propose to extend a moment of joy?
Why we want to see ourselves reflected in a growing possible future (to have biological children??)
I'm not sure of anything, nor I want to be sure of these rambling thoughts.

I am only sure of one thing.
The love of you fills me.

I love you not for what I may see reflected from you
But for what you simply are.
Simple.

Everything is possible.